12/21/2023
6:11 PM
I am losing my ability to visualise. I have been stretching my capacity for understanding and using language so much, and I quite often find myself saying the wrong things in an attempt to verbalise at least one thing. I will quit these hopeless attempts at being coherent soon enough when I have nothing left that I can manage to say. Until then, before I go back to what I know, I'd still like to try for a while. I want to fill up a couple pages. It feels good to inspect one's past thoughts some time after they pass through and away. Writers seem like such winners to me. The confidence, when put in the right place, is impressive because I don't relate to trusting my views so naturally; I always take every perspective into consideration, so much that I forget to ultimately consider them separately. In the end there is always only what's mine and dissolving away in uncertainty and the other's, and it blurs eventually so I step back to take a better look and suddenly I don't remember what it was all about in the first place. I must be followed with a broom and basket at all times, broom for the finer dust and basket for the bigger pieces. My future duty would be to walk on and be the one with both items, and I will then witness death and rebirth everyday and I will be very kind to myself but never one with it.
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